January - March 2026: End of the Repton Oak sit-spot project & navigating hell

About Angels and About Trees

Where do angels
fly in the firmament,

and how many can dance
on the head of a pin?

Well, I don’t care

about that pin dance,

what I know is that
they rest, sometimes,

in the tops of the trees

and you can see them,

or almost see them,

or, anyway, think: what a

wonderful idea.

I have lost as you and

others have possibly lost a

beloved one,

and wonder, where are they now?

The trees, anyway, are

miraculous, full of

angels (ideas); even
empty they are a

good place to look, to put

the heart at rest—all those

leaves breathing the air, so

peaceful and diligent, and certainly
ready to be

the resting place of
strange, winged creatures

that we, in this world, have loved.

Slipping over multiple times on ice as I sobbed on the phone to the Samaritans, I placed my palm on the Repton Oak, then begged audibly to be allowed to die.

The magnificent documentary / animation, ‘The Remarkable Life of Ibelin’ (2024) reminded me, though, that however trapped I feel by my circumstances, at least I’m not trapped by my body. I also resolved (with the help of Maya Angelou’s wisdom) to put myself first - so there is hope.

I didn’t give up on the Critique Review; Sustainability and Adaptation assignment for my MSc in Green Building - even though it’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. For my literature review I investigated the possibility of a global fire safety mandate following the recent Wang Fuk Court fire in Hong Kong, and came up with the pressing research question, ‘How scalable is the community-led deep retrofit of high-rise social housing in the UK?’

My money plant produced white star-like flowers for the first time.

Migraine dream: Being dragged around a train station / Underground network by people I wanted to be around / who made me feel alive.

At Forest Farm Peace Garden I cut up foliage from discarded Christmas wreaths to mulch around the blueberries and heather with; discovered violets, bright yellow Cornelian cherry blossom, lemon balm, chocolate vine, and answered the questions of newly-recruited buddies: I offered my thoughts that people are people, to be vigilant but relaxed, never to be afraid of voicing their own boundaries, fears and concerns to staff, and to trust in themselves and their good intentions even though they might get it wrong sometimes.

I sold my mixed media ‘trees’ piece, ‘Amazon’ from my Etsy shop, which gave me a well-needed boost.

The greenery of my white and cream honeysuckle spread all over the garden.

Repton Oak sit-spot - January - March 2026

Please see my January - March 2026 oak tree videos here: Repton Oak sit-spot Playlist by Gemma Boyd - YouTube

A photograph and a video from my January - March 2026 Repton Oak visits are on my Instagram page, @geminthemud

12th February 2026. The Repton Oak never fails to soothe, motivate and uplift me.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Evelyn - a singer and fellow tree lover I connected with on YouTube recommended the book, ‘To Speak for the Trees’ by Diana Beresford-Kroeger. She said that my visits to the Repton Oak inspired her to have a long-awaited visit to a big, beautiful maple tree [in Canada]. She continued, “I really admire how open you are in your videos. That kind of vulnerability takes courage, and it’s not only helping you - it’s inspiring others too. We never know whose life we might touch by sharing our story. Thank you. It’s a lot you’re going through… I really enjoy the bird sounds of your woodland… You’re speaking on things that really matter to you… Saying no and choosing yourself takes real courage… I completely understand the safe feeling that being in nature gives… It doesn’t seem like it now but you’re going to get through it! Just remember to breathe to help ground and calm your nervous system… [Regarding my being Jan’s primary carer]: Something has to happen before you get the help! It’s so unfortunate and so hard on the ones that care!… I don’t even know you and I feel so much empathy for you… You definitely deserve to vent and your feelings are valid… I admire your assertiveness and being so open and vulnerable!.. You’re highlighting an issue that most people don’t talk about so openly!… Showing up for you is all that matters! This is your year!!” Amanda added (at the end of the Repton Oak sit-spot project), “Thank you, Gemma. A lovely project to follow.”

I heartily recommend the book, ‘How to Read a Tree: Clues and Patterns from Roots to Leaves’ by Tristan Gooley.